The Irken Assassin: Zergarikiaka
by Shade4716
Summary: The tallests send a high cost assassin on Zim's trail. Will she succeed in killing the defective off, or will his dumb luck save him again? R&R Story being put back on after being completed on Deviantart.
1. The conspiracy

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, Zim merchandise, props or characters. I do, however, own 'Zergarikiaka' and an infinite supply of coffee and the likes. Fan art I have no problem with, but no character thievery!

Ch.1 - The Conspiracy

Location: Planet Convencia

The Tallests are seen hovering above a platform in the center of a small arena fixed in the center of a massive meeting hall, and are surrounded by the masses of invaders publicly invited to this special meeting. A special assignment was being publicly assigned to a particular individual who, as far as anyone knew, would have to be either quite skilled or tall… or simply a short invader being sent off somewhere to be disposed of which could be laughed at by the bulk of the empire. Everyone in the assembled crowd was on the edge of their seats, despite the fact that there was none to sit in. The traditional lasers begin to fire down, illuminating the stadium as a solemn looking figure walks out of a narrow hallway, smoke following in the figures path.

Once the mysterious figure is on stage a floating screen activates showing a better view of this individual. It stands at the height of 6'4, at least, so it is almost as tall as the Tallests themselves. Dispite the better view offered by the floating screens, it's identity remained camoflaged by the slowly thinning smoke. In theory, a meeting such as this could have gone well without smokescreens and lasers, but who were the Tallests to be low key?

Soon after the first figure came onto the platform, two SIR units follow and stand at their masters sides. One SIR unit is colored black where most SIR units are red, and its head seems to have been customized to have a reptilian appearance. The second SIR unit is a normal looking one, except, it has long claws jutting out of its hands and is has horn-shaped antennae on the sides of its head.

Tallest Purple is the first to speak, as the lasers fade away and the smoke clears to a managable point.

"Zergarikiaka."

And with only the mention of that complicated name, the audience roars in applause. Purple pauses for a minute to wait until the applause dies down. The irken on stage bows sightly and looks up at the Tallests. A camera floats behind the Tallests, revealing the only slightly feminine face of the irken woman on screen, and further displaying claws on her right hand that appear to have torn threw her gloves, reaching a length of eight inches, four long spikes composed of what had once been spider legs from her Pak, and three poking out of a metal bar around her left arm. Zerg's focused gold eyes lock on to Purple, showing a severe lack of desire for details or patience for boring conversations. How this could qualify as boring however remained a mystery, in the presence of the majestic rulers and coordinators for Operation Impending Doom II.

"You may be wondering why we called you here today."

"Make this quick, alright"

"Fine... We know that you have been trained some time ago under the authority of Syrenn, by order from the former Tallest, Miyuki."

"... Continue"

"We need you to go out to a slightly distant planet; Earth. There you will undoubtedly find your target, Invader Zim."

An image of Zim appeared behind the trio before the crowd, along with a portrait of the planet Earth, with a dramatic arrow painted over the planet with the word "earth" written in red irken text. A random irken in the back of the crowd cheers then shies back into the crowd. The audience falls silent for a moment, some Irkens talk quietly among themselves. A few other invaders applaud, especially those who were on Irk when Zim attacked the place by mistake many years ago. The image begins to rotate along the edges of the arena, positioning itself so everyone in the audience would be able to see it.

"You will head to Earth, and find Zim. Appear to be on his side, though naturally only on ours. We want you to make him think he's worth more to the empire and sabotage his work on that useless planet, even make him believe he had taken that planet over, then bring him back to Irk." Purple paused. Red finishes the statement for him. "Back here, we will have you do you real job, and end him in front of this very audience." The audience began to roar in applause, a few releasing red balloons with black irken insignias on them. Purple speaks again once the crowd calms down again.

"Something you'll need to look out for, however, is the planets most abundant resource; water. It has been discovered the substance is practically poison... It burns our skin..." Red cuts in, not wanting to be overshadowed by his co-ruler. "Or at least, the pollution in the water is. The jury really isn't out on that yet. Chances are other substances might have the same effect."

Zerg sighs, obviously bored with the details, or perhaps with the mission she had been dealt in general. Blending in with her enemies and dealing with a slow mission was never her forte. She prefers a fast, clean, victory in most all cases.

"How much will you pay for this mission, and what shall I do with the planet?"

"You can name your price, and do with the world what you will."

A smirk spreads across the Irken's face, revealing a strikingly sharp set of fangs; Not quite as prominant as what a vampire would have, but not normal for a regular irken either.

"Good enough."

Suddenly a burst of indigo light consumes the assassin's body and she vanishes, defiantly threw means of teleportation. The Irken audience breaks into a renewed roar of applause. Red looks at purple, slightly annoyed. Purple looks confused as to why, looking at his co-ruler.

"Idiot, don't you know how much that assassins service costs?"

"No. But something tells me I'm about to find out..."

"A lot, and don't you forget it. Former Tallest Miyuki used to call on her without having to pay, but now that she's gone, that's changed completely."

Meanwhile...

Location: Earth - Smelly human suburbia - Membrane family home - dibs room

Dib had been watching monitors all day, barely moving more than twice to get a snack or got to the restroom. His eyes seem to be locked onto an image of Zim's base, where not much at all seems to be going on.

"Any minute now, he'll do something ... not... normal... and I'll catch it on film! I just know it!"

The boy dubbed insane mused to himself. He had said this same line many times today, despite the fact he was always wrong. The clock ticks behind him, eventually sounding rhythmic in the boys ears. He had begun to fall into a tired daze as he rested his abnormally large head in his arms. His strange, pointy jet-black hair hangs limply in his face as he stares, along with uncut strands of hair reaching halfway down his face, blowing some view of his glasses. It's been three years or more since Zim has arrived on Earth, and yet he still can't prove the alien-boy exists. Mysterious Mysteries thinks he is crazy, his class-mates believe he is insane, his teacher, who still is Ms. Bitters, despises him, and his sister doesn't care to listen to him, and his dad is too smart to believe in Aliens or anything of the supernatural. He has begun to wonder what the point of trying is. However, whenever he began to think that way, he would all ways be instantaneously reminded of his reason why.

Zim.

That moment, on the monitor, the large purple door that seems to have been ripped from a men's bathroom slams open, and GIR, the insistently insane robot, sprints outside without his dog disguise, screaming something about chocolate chilly beans and soy sauce. Dib snaps back into a state of awareness as this happens. Soon after, Zim runs out of the house with his disguise on, and picks GIR up by the back of the neck.

After a quick scolding, Zim drags the little child-minded robot back into the house. In excitement, Dib checks his monitor to see if that was recorded, and gawks in irritation and disbelief. Zim himself seems to have changed since he first arrived to earth, and not just in his height. He doesn't even seem to care about taking over the planet anymore, but that hasn't seemed to dawn on Dib yet.

"I don't believe it... I RAN OUT OF FILM!"

"YOUR VOICE IS STUPID!"

Dib glances at the door to his room after hearing his scary, Gothic sister Gaz yell at him from another part of the house, with one of her now trademarked lines. Dib sighs sadly and looks back at his monitor, soon after shutting it off.

"Next time... I should remember to have extra blank tapes..."

He leaves the sanctity of his room to go to the kitchen, where he just happens to see Gaz herself, merely eating some pizza and playing her GameSlave 3. She has recently started wearing spiked wristbands and a black spiked collar on her neck, making her look more gothic than ever. This was nothing out of the ordinary. Dib glances over at his creepy sister and scratches the back of his head as he tried to remember where the extra tapes were.

"Um... Gaz"

"I'm only four levels away from beating this game... You know what will happen if you disturb me or cause me to fail..."

Dib ignores Gaz's warning and continues the 'conversation'.

"Do you know where I left the spare tapes?"

"Go... Away..."

"Forg- ack!"

Dib was cut short when Gaz put her game on pause and attempted to punch him in the gut for bothering her too long. Dib managed to dodge her punch and run out of the kitchen and into the front room just in time.

"Man, I also have to remember not to mess with her on Mondays... Heh."

With a sigh Dib picked the remote off the floor. He then flopped onto the couch, head first, and put the TV on without even looking up, his thumb having memorized the code for the desired channel. Mysterious Mysteries was not going to be on for an hour yet, so he just had to wait for it to be on, and sit through the Scary Monkey show. Its been like four years since it first aired, and it's still on! "Ah well, can't be much longer until its cancelation." Dib thought as he listened to the screaming of the monkey.


	2. Another day?

Location: Convencia - Battle cruiser/voot cruiser docking bay.

Zerg and her two owned SIR units appear from a flash of purple light and stare up at the many docked ships. The lizard-like unit stalks off to find the three's ship as the unit with blades sticking out of its fingers stands at its masters side, munching on snacks. Moments later a large ship - not as large as a battle cruiser, but still a lot bigger than a voot cruiser or voot runner - with a black paint job and a red, somewhat deformed looking irken symbol on the sides - pulls up to the invader and her robot, the first robot already inside. The front of the ship seems to have been customized to hold a much larger engine, and has at least four openings for lasers to shoot out of. The front also has a four way split in it so it's likely it can open for repairs or holding new weapons. There is a circular opening the size of a bowling ball in the front between two laser slots which seems to be part of a ventilation system or perhaps may be an extendible drill. Zerg and the spike-handed SIR get in. The interior is mainly black except for the control consul which is purple in coloration. The buttons give off a blue light. The seats in the ship are apparently made of some kind of leather but since there are no cows on Irk, it must be something else. The back of the ship is lit by a few lights in the ceiling. The back seems to have once served the purpose of carrying some kind of cargo or something, but now it only is used by the SIR units and sometimes Zerg's weapons.

"Jadoku, have the Tallests uploaded the Earth's coordinates yet?"  
"They are still downloading, madam. Download currently at... ten percent."  
"Shall I beat the computer mainframe into scrap for being too slow, madam?"  
"...No. We need it intact, besides the Tallests probingly have a slower model."  
"Very well, madam."  
"Please stop calling me that! You aren't my SIR just to be a kiss up."  
"Yes... ma- ... ster."  
"Much better..."

Jadoku activates the ships propulsion systems and drives it out of the bay before going behind the driver's seat into a passenger seat alongside the other SIR unit, Tsume. Zerg takes her place in the driver's seat and starts working the many controls as the ship blazes off in a randomly selected direction, but all the same in the general direction of the earth. Eventually Jadoku speaks up again.

"Download at eleven percent, Master... Download should end in approximately 8 days." Jadoku reports dutifully. Zerg frowns slightly, and lets out a sigh. "Ignore it for now."

Back on Earth- location: Skool - Bitters' class

"And that is why the universe is doomed to implode upon itself."

Mrs. Bitters is currently in one of her well known lectures on the doomed, involving subject matters like the universe and Dibs head. The room is perfectly the same as it was in 6th grade, with the exception of students and lightning. Some posters in the back of the wall are different. On one the walls, the words "ZIM IS AN ALIEN" seems to have been carved in, more than likely by Dib himself. Dib stares out of the window he sits by, his hair spike hanging over his face. He had obviously not slept after his strange nightmare last night. Zim on the other hand has something more important to worry about, like how to take over the planet or better his defense systems for his base. He has been sketching out a plan on a sheet of notepaper all day, and more than likely his evil teacher must think he is simply taking notes. Too tired to notice, and on the brink of giving up on catching Zim, Dib doesn't seem to care much about this. Even though now everyone is well into 12th grade, they have to still deal with Bitters and her lousy teaching. What's more is in her class there are more Goths than any other class has, and the board of education has no idea she may be the cause for this. Gaz is in Bitter's class now, apparently because she skipped 7th grade years ago. Now SHE had a good teacher...once... She still plays her game slaves in class though. The bell rings, cutting short Bitter's raving about the doomed universe. Doom doesn't really help much when it comes to Finals testing.

At lunch the usual ketchup and beans were served, and the casuals occur. A child is taken to the hospital after eating a bean, while another vomits in the trash after finishing his food. Zim pokes unenthusiastically at the evil meal as Dib sits down at the same table as Zim, holding one foam cup of coffee. Gaz passes by casually, casting a vengeful glare at Dib and mumbling something about hatred for over caffeinated big heads.

"What are you up to now Dib-pig?"

Zim casts an angry glare at Dib for intruding upon his solitude at the empty table. He is wearing a black shirt and pants, spiked wristbands and a spiked collar like most Goths or Punks would. His wig and eye lenses are still the same though. By now Dib seemed to have become more aware.

"Oh, just observing how you have yet to even try the skool cafeteria food ever since you got here. What's the matter? A weakness grown greater? A-"

Zim silences Dib by shoving a muffin up the paranoid humans throat and gets up, shortly after storming away. Dib glowers, half of the muffin still jutting out of his mouth. He scoops some of the evil food up from his tray in one of his hands to throw at the alien he has been against for so long, only to realize HIS hand was now burning, quite badly at that.

"Aaaiiieeeee! IT'S THE EVIL SPICY BEANS! THEY'RE HOT! IT BURNS!"

And with that, Dib flails in pain on the ground, beans melting in his hands and into his flesh. Zim laughs maniacally as he walks off. Some peers run to the other side of the cafeteria. Dib gets back up after examining his hand.

"Man Zim! What did you do to my food"  
"Nothing Dib-worm. Maybe you should ask the cafeteria stink-pigs what she puts in that stuff before touching it!" Zim yells across the cafeteria. That food never was proper for eating... Not for Irkens or Humans. On that note he remembers that poor stink-filth-riddled child who's face got fused to the mash potatoes and pork rinds they served last year. He had to live in the hospital for 7 months while the doctors performed plastic surgery almost every day to slowly return his face to its normal human state.

3 months later - location: Abandoned field. Time: 8:58 P.M.

A flash of light is seen in the sky high above the field near the new moon. The wind blows harshly and causes the trees to make a lot more noise than anything. The sound of a police car is heard as it passes the field after of some guy for an unknown reason. A few leaves fall from the trees and get caught in the wind. Suddenly the sleek black ship belonging to Zerg herself lands in the center of the field, well into the open. The ships lights fade out.


	3. Blending In

The Irken Assassin – Ch. 3, Blending in.

-----Data log -----

So... Last night I made it to the assigned planet, Earth. As far as I've seen, the planet isn't worth invading and can only improve. Whatever, I'm not interested in invading anyway. Research is more worthwhile. I've done a bit of research on the biology of the dominant species of the planet, and constructed a disguise to perfectly blend in here. It's just a formality... The smelly drool-riddled creatures called humans seem to live in packs or alone. Those alone seem to become left behind their own society, more so than the rest. I'm not going to be wasting supplies making a base when I don't think I'll be here a whole month, so if I play my cards right and my SIRS keep to their rolls, we may find a place suitable to stay amongst one of these packs, which should prevent native suspicion. Hopefully near the area my target is in... This better not take too long or else I'll have to make the Tallests pay double what I originally decided on, and chances are they won't be able to afford my price. Now that would be irritating. Come to think of it, I think I noticed a place this morning which might be perfect.

-End-

location - Dibs house

Dib walks into the kitchen in annoyance, holding a spoon that he found in his room and a dirty cereal bowl. "Gaz! Were you eating the last of the cereal in my room or something!?" he demands, looking to a chair where his sister would be had she not left the house an hour ago to hang out at the somber club in the library. Apparently that's a Goth club or something. He tried to join once, but apparently he was too weird to join, being such a strong believer in the paranormal without being on drugs. They also said he spoke to fast to read poetry on the dark hate in his soul, with any impact. Yeah, right.

His mood picks up some as he hears the doorbell ring. He opens the door once close enough and stands back, ready to give what little kids may be playing a prank on him the finger and close the door. He is surprised to see a girl standing above six feet tall at his doorstep. He notices she has a set of very deep blue - almost black - eyes, long red hair that falls over her face partially, the back of her hair tied back, reaching her lower back regardless, and a slightly pointed nose and wears purple lipstick over her lips. She has slightly tanned white skin. She wears a black shirt that looks too small and blue jeans ripped up at the knees and shredded at the bottom. She also is wearing black spiked boots and gloves. The last thing she is wearing that he notices is a white trench coat. He notices that she has no pockets in her coat last. Either she is a night-clubber, or vampire, or something, at least that is his first impression. At her sides wait two small dogs, probably bulldogs, judging by their build.

"Can... I help you?" he asks her, confusion in his tone. He is immediately rewarded for speaking with a cold stare that seems to peer into the depths of his mind. "Yeah, I work for your dad, Professor Membrane. My... lab exploded last night as well as my entire house. I need to stay here for a little while now." she says, with an explanatory tone. If she is lying, she must be good at it, Dib figures, judging by her clothes and dogs still. "Ok... What field did you work in and who are you? And where are you from!" he says, accusing her of being from another planet without knowing it.

"Names Ze-lda... Zelda... from Earth..." she says, as if having forgot her name for a second. She looks down and gestures toward the dogs. "And these are... Talon and Venom. Don't ask me why they are named that as I didn't name them." she looks up at him again and stares into his eyes in an official manner. Her eyes don't lose their hold on his for a moment as she sees to be probing his mind again.

"You have a lab here, correct?"  
"Yeah, I have one; it belongs to my dad, though." Dib says sourly.  
"Good enough. So you must be... Dib. The paranormal investigator to-be who believes there is an alien in his class." she deducts. Dib nods in confusion.  
"How do you know this stuff?" He asks dumbly, never hearing of this girl before.  
"I'm psychic." she says, sarcasm in her tone.

Dib frowns in irritation toward the sarcasm. He figures this girl must work with his dad and know these things. Zelda smirks seeing this. "Let's just go with the 'Swollen Eyeball Network' sent me to help you." she finishes. Dib's expression completely changes hearing this and he practically jumps on the girl."FINALLY! They believe me! Come on, I got a lot of information to show you from what I've learned so far!" he practically screams as he grabs Zelda's wrist and pulls her into the house.  
Once in Dibs room Dib closes the door to block out the sound of their talking so Gaz wouldn't come upstairs and shove a spork down his throat again like she did last time he had company and talked freely about the paranormal. She wasn't home yet, but Dib couldn't be too careful. After all, who knows how long this could take? " network? Whendidtheystartbelieveingme?" he starts asking, forgetting to put spaces between his words purely out of excitement. Zelda sits on Dib's bed, one of her dogs jumping up and sitting next to her, the other at her feet. "Um... Three months and when I joined?" she guesses, trying to sound bored. Before Dib can say another word, her hand covers his mouth. "Before you start talking again, remember to breathe and put spaces between your words, ok?" she comments with a forced smile. Removing her hand, he comments "right", then actually flashing a smile. That gesture was actually quite rare for him after all these years chasing down Zim and failing to prove anything to anyone. Could things really be starting to change?


	4. The Break In

The Irken Assassin – Ch. 4, The Break In

Several hours passed as Dib had tried to explain all he learned so far about their adversary to Zelda. His excited rambling had been cut short of its potential however, when Gaz got home. With her arrival, Dib had forced himself to grow silent until after Zelda and Gaz were introduced. From what Dib could see, Zelda and Gaz didn't seem to have much a problem with each other. Gaz only seemed irritated at the fact Dib just let her in without asking their dad about letting some unknown person just walk into the house and stay. Dib had wound up having to explain to Gaz that Zelda's home lays in ruins, which is why she's staying here. Gaz simply shrugged the explanation off by calling Zelda 'whiner', then leaving the room.

"Charming..." Zelda muses as Gaz leaves the room, sarcasm in her tone. Dib shrugs a little. "That's my sister for you. I doubt she'll change any." he comments. He looks out the window of the room to the outside. An over sized bee flies past among some leaves. A fraction of the setting sun can be seen through the window. "Mysterious Mysteries will be on soon, but I think it's a re-run. I'd bet we could get into Zim's base and find out what he's planning if we tried. I all ready know a number of ways in." Dib suggests. Zelda gives a moment of thought, then nodding. "All right, lead the way."

Dib heads out the door, naturally falling into a habitual stride to the familiar green house a few blocks down. He stops short, in front of the apartment building to the right of the slightly glowing two-story house in the alley. Zelda takes the few extra steps necessary to actually see the house itself. "Hmm... definitely not what I'd call blended in." she comments. Dib sighs quietly. "That's what I think. WHY haven't the rest of the city noticed this yet?!" he rhetorically demands. A valid question really, since he seemed to be the only one to have ever noticed how obscure this house was or its inhabitants were. Zelda shrugs lightly, then looking around from where she stands, her attention soon focused on the lawn gnomes guarding the hideous adobe. A level of focus crosses Zelda's eyes, her no longer seeming to care for making guesses or holding back anymore. "We goin' in or standing out here like idiots?" she asks bluntly, looking back at Dib. Dib grins in determination. "Let's break in." he decides. Zelda nods once approvingly, then turning back to the green house, then walking right toward it threw the gap in the fence, soon followed by Dib.

Immediately detecting the presence of two intruders, the lawn gnomes turn to face the two approaching the base, their eyes beginning to glow with the charge of defensive lasers. Zelda crosses her arms, her hands going into her lab coat, finding hidden inside-pockets and pulling out three old-style warhead shaped objects from each, holding them between her fingers. "Once we get inside, guide us." she states seriously. Just before the lawn gnomes lasers flare, Zelda jumps up and throws the warhead-like objects down at them. The objects cut through the aged lawn gnomes, causing small explosions as Zelda lands back on the ground from her jump, the lasers having passed under her. Dib's jaw drops in awe, him looking around the yard, no longer held back by those ever persistent gnomes. "WOW! I don't believe it! You make that look easy!" he exclaims, having trouble finding the right words to express himself, soon going into an indecipherable ramble. Zelda quickly places her hand over Dib's mouth once more, until he stops rambling again. Soon removing her hand, Dib smiles sheepishly then walks to the purple men's door leading into Zim's house. He opens the door and walks in, Zelda shortly following him inside. Inside they are instantly greeted by the computer brain of the house calling out "Intruder alert", and an alarm flashing red lights in the room, metal arms starting to extend out of the ceiling. One thing defiantly miss however was Zim himself. Most likely he was still down in his base.

Dib makes a dash to the couch as a mechanical arm dives down at him, quickly flipping it off its place, and jumping down into the storage area the couch was hiding. Zelda smirks to herself as Dib disappeared from her view. She turns to face a number of attacking arms, as a red aura formed around her right hand. Dagger-like blades seem to quickly push their way out of her fingertips, flexing slightly for a moment. As soon as the attacking metal arms come within range, they collapse to the ground, severed from the ceiling. Under the "Intruder Alert" warning's blaring, their collapse is nearly soundless. Zelda's hand once more flares with red, the claws vanishing as if they had never been there. She quickly jumps down the hole in the floor previously covered by the couch, landing near Dib.

"What kept you?" Dib asks, slightly urgent sounding. "Nothing, just lessening some of our problems." she comments, then looking around the shadowed storage room. It was mainly filled with boxes of used and unused junk and mechanical parts. A red sign reading "EXIT" reveals a door to another room, likely Zim's actual base. Dib walks up to the door, forcing it open in a manner that suggests having managed a few times before and then standing to the side to let Zelda head threw first. Passing through the doors, Zelda makes sure to constantly register details of each area to mind. She would likely return down here sooner than later, without the escort. A solitary break in would be much more difficult when in an unfamiliar place, anyway.

Dib follows Zelda into the room, shutting the door behind him. He looks at his wrist watch. Mysterious Mysteries was on by now, but this is more exciting. He starts working a dial on the wrist watch, causing a small holographic map of the areas of the base he's explored so far to appear. Zelda seems to take a real interest in this, no longer looking around the room, but instead to the nearly-finished map. "Hmm, that must be quite useful." Zelda comments. Dib smiles a bit and nods. "Helps to know your enemy, and his base!" he exclaims. This addition to his watch was something he thought up and created himself, and with someone else praising his work, he could not help but find a spark of happiness in himself. Zelda nods once in agreement with him, her expression unchanged. She brushes a strand of red hair from her face, then suggesting moving on. Dib from that point would lead the rest of their way until something interesting would happen, whether it be finding Zim or any new plans.


	5. Follow Through

The Irken Assassin - Ch. 5, Follow through.

In the lower sector of Zim's base, Zim snaps awake as the intruder alert siren begins to blare, then sighing irritably. There was all ways some smelly pig headed human wandering about or miraculously getting into his home, and he had learned not to panic much. However, more than likely it was Dib again. Zim stands up and stretches, blinking his eyes clear from the haze of sleep, and then heading to the main computer control room to find out whom exactly was intruding on his beautiful base. With a quick search threw his computer, he finds video footage of Dib and some unknown girl as his lawn gnomes are destroyed. "The Dib!" Zim protests, then runs out of the room, not caring who the other human must have been. For all he cared, it was Gaz with a new hair color on stilts.

Meanwhile, Zelda and Dib had made rapid progress breaking through Zim's base, finding fewer and fewer obstacles in their way. Zelda notices a number of objects left discarded after being damaged, as if they were not worthy of repair, or the owner didn't care enough to repair them. After a while, Zelda felt the need to point this out in a way. "Doesn't seem like he cares so much about taking over Earth anymore, does he?" she rhetorically asks. Dib blinks, looking at Zelda. "Of course he's still after Earth, or he wouldn't be here anymore!" he exclaims. Zelda shrugs lightly. "Perhaps his ship is ruined?" she suggests, walking to a table holding a number of chemicals in tubes, many unlabeled. Zelda takes the opportunity to cause some grief, by promptly mixing a number of chemicals together, carefully choosing what to mix to avoid any immediate explosions. Dib watches Zelda as she pulls this off, smiling slightly at the possibility of Zim blowing up his own lab thanks to Zelda, or something.

Zelda then headed toward the next door to head further into the lab, then stopping short, Dib beside her. Before them, the door slides open, the three and a half foot tall irken wearing a black uniform appearing on the other side, one laser gun in hand. Zim had grown in the last few years, true, but he had not grown by much at all. Without his disguise on, he really was mostly unchanged, unless you counted a change in outfit. "Dib-stink! Get out of my base!" Zim immediately shouted, then giving a rough glare in the direction of Zelda. "And take your stink-beast giraffe friend with you!" he snaps. Zelda looks dully at the shrimp of an invader, then smirking. "One would think you'd respect those more vertically advanced than yourself." she comments, Dib restraining a laugh. Zim frowns at this, and then nearly screams as he orders the two to get out. A number of mechanical arms once more extend from the ceiling, reaching down to grab the intruders and remove them from the base. "Dib, let's get back to your place for now. I'm satisfied all your information is accurate enough." she tells him, then grabbing Zim by the wrist, the two vanishing in a flare of purple light, having teleported in time to avoid actually being thrown out. Zim sighs in frustration. "Stupid pig monkey..." he growls, walking back out of the room.

The two reappear moments later in the front room of Dib's house. Luckily for them, Gaz wasn't in the room to see them appear. Zelda lets go of Dib's wrist, Dib looking around in surprise. "You really are psychic aren't you?" Dib exclaims, not asking, just bewildered. Zelda nods once. Dib crosses his arms, thoughtfully. "Why didn't we just teleport there then?" he asks. Zelda shrugs. "I have to have been somewhere before, if I want to teleport there. Doesn't work to just go anywhere on a whim." she explains. "I see..." Dib mumbles, then smiling. "So we'll just be able to return later, easy!" he exclaims. "That's the plan." Zelda concludes, then walking out of the room, into the kitchen.

Gaz looks up from a bowl of cereal, there not being anything else left in the house to eat, casting a momentary impassive glance at Zelda. Zelda had just opened the refrigerator, looking into it for any potential snacks. Not finding any, she just closes the door again, walking back to the front room. Dib sits down on the couch, smiling broadly. This may have been the best day he's had in years. He successfully broke into that base, escaped, annoyed his nemesis, gained an ally, and found a convenient way to return to the base later, all in one day. He notices the clock over the TV, and shrugs, realizing that it is well past midnight at this point. He curses to himself when he realizes he has 'skool' in the morning. "I'm going to crash..." He tells Zelda, then realizing he had no idea where she'd be staying in the house. "Ah, wait, I don't think we have a guest room... think you'll be ok with the couch?" Dib asks. Zelda shrugs. "I'm all right with it. See yua tomorrow." she tells Dib. Dib finds himself smiling at this. She wasn't likely to just vanish, that meant! Dib sprints up the stairs to his room, closing the door behind him.

Hours later Dib was comatose in sleep, Gaz allegedly being the same. The soft thump of feet on wood is heard as Zelda walks up the flight of stairs to Dib's room, soon opening the door and slipping silently in while the teenager sleeps. She soon notices Dib's mapping watch, soon picking it up and hooking it around her wrist, then slipping back out of the room, closing the door behind her. Sitting on the couch again, Zelda watches a digital clock, having found the watch itself didn't tell the time. The minute the clock proclaimed 4 in the morning, Zelda vanished into a snap of violet energy. Moments later the same light breaks the darkness of a previously abandoned section of Zim's lab. As the light fades, the silhouette of an irken appears, standing over six feet tall, spiked antennae's slanted behind her, dark golden eyes seeming to glow in the dark. Zerg steps out of the shadows, heading into another room, looking around for her target. "Hmm.. Irkens need no sleep, so he should be somewhere down here, active to some degree..." she muses. She looks at the watch, the hologram appearing before her, a red dot blinking to show where her target waits. With a fanged smirk, Zerg silently runs through the levels of the base, on the hunt.


	6. Second Strain of a Web

The Irken Assassin - Ch. 6, Second strain of a web.

Within twenty minutes of teleporting into the base, Zerg had reached the room Zim was currently in. The short irken was busy working out plans to increase his labs defenses, so that filthy dib human wouldn't have so much ease breaking in. He had been far too focused on this project to notice the invader of his privacy in the room. For several moments, Zerg stood in the shadows, absently clicking her claws against a metal desk, before sending a telepathic message into Zim's mind, not patient enough at heart to wait for him to turn around on his own and notice her presence.

"I would recommend looking behind you." a voice whispers into Zim's mind. Zim's antennae perk and he rubs his head. "That Dib pig's driving me insane! I'm hearing voices!" he exclaims. Behind him, Zerg clears her throat, intentionally loud. Zim quickly twists his neck around to look at the source of his disturbance, his crimson eyes immediately locking onto a splash of black and white. He had to strain his neck to look higher so he'd see the face of the irken in his lab. Recalling Tak's attempt to steal his job and his mission, he immediately jumps out of his chair, knocking it clean over with a loud thud. "WHO ARE YOU!?" Zim screams, more so demanding knowledge than asking. Zerg flashes a smirk, letting one of her fangs show momentarily. "I'd have expected my reputation to have expanded to this corner of the universe... Oh well." she muses aloud, then crossing one arm in front of her thin body, bowing from her center in mock respect, though incidentally needing to make this gesture just to reach her targets eye level. She would have preferred to do her job at her fast pace, killing on sight, but the Tallests had their orders set for her. "I have been sent here by the Tallests to aid you, Invader Zim." she purrs, erecting herself to a stand. "I... am the one and only... Zergarikiaka. But really, just call me Zerg." she introduces herself.

Zim's red eyes widen slightly in surprise, and then narrow in anger. "What?! I need no help! Why would the Tallests send any other invader here? It's bad enough dealing with Skoodge." he demands. Zerg crosses her arms, casting her seemingly emotionless stare down at the short irken. "I just told you. You've taken too long on this mission, and I'm here to speed things up." She muses coolly. Her eyes seem to peer down into his existence, as she hisses out "You DO want to take over this planet, don't you? I can assure your victory, or I can claim it before you." she contemplates aloud, then turning as if planning to leave the room. Zim thinks for a minute, then deciding to be smart about this situation. He hadn't had much success with Earth so far, and Skoodge wasn't helping him much outside of cooking and keeping the base clean. "All right! You can help." Zim growled. "But the minute you try to take over my mission for me you're out of here." he snaps. Zerg smirks coolly, turning her head slightly to look down at the irken now behind her. "Wise decision." she purrs. Looking ahead once more, she shoots back an order to her apparent ally. "Lessen your bases defenses. My SIRs will be checking in with you later, and I don't want them blown apart." she comments, before disappearing into a snap of violet light.

Zim quickly leaves the room, heading to the main computer room of his base. He wouldn't listen yet to the idea of lowering his defenses, and instead would increase them. As it was, its too easy to break into his base all ready. With his defenses any lower, undoubtedly any human child or animal could slip in undetected. Once reaching the computer room, he starts typing commands into the computers database, a screen soon lowering before him, much like the one used when he found out about Tak's plans to drain the planet of its mantel and replace the molten rock flow with snacks. "Computer, track down any information you can about this... Zuurg person." he orders, having all ready disregarded her names pronunciation. The computer's voice moans in annoyance at having to do anything. "Fine... Searching." it grumbles, the screen becoming filled with 0's and 1's as it scans threw its database.

Meanwhile back with the membrane family's home, the same flood of violet light cuts through the front room, Zelda appearing again, throwing herself onto the couch. She crosses her arms behind her head, looking up at the ceiling, smirking darkly in thought. "This may be too easy." she thinks to herself. Looking back at the digital clock in the room, she takes a mental note of it only being 4:23 now. She had not taken very long in dealing with Zim, at all. Not even half an hour. She sits up slightly, losing her smirk as the door to the house opens, professor Membrane walking into the house himself. He yawns, walking right past the back side of the couch, not really noticing the scientist lying on his couch. Clearly, he had not rested in too long, and only now had the chance. He passes clear threw the room in a beeline, disappearing into his own room elsewhere in the house. Zelda raises a brow lightly, and then lays back once more, staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes before closing her eyes, only to look asleep, despite her lack of need. In about two hours the house would become active again, as the family would have to wake for school and work again.


	7. Another Day of Skool

The Irken Assassin - Ch. 7, Another day of skool.

Within the end of two hours, the Membrane household had picked up in activity, completely unaware of the nights activities. Within another hour, Professor Membrane sits at the kitchen table, sipping at a mug full of black coffee, it likely being some brand of his own creation in follow-up to super toast. The mug itself was labeled with the words 'World's greatest scientist'. A few crumbs from a slice of super toast remain on his used plate. Gaz browses the refrigerator for milk for her cereal, but not finding any, she pulls out a liter of poop soda, and pours that into her cereal instead, splashing some onto the kitchen table. Sitting down, Gaz looks over at her father. "Late night?" she asks casually, then taking a few bites of the strange combination of cereal and soda. Membrane nodded once. "Where's your brother?" he asks after a minute. Gaz shrugs. "I'm not his baby sitter." she comments, then thinking. "He's probably off with that girl who came here yesterday… or at skool." she figures. Membrane seems to smile. "Ah good, the boy finally got a girlfriend then." he laughs. Gaz shrugs again, finishing her bowl and throwing it into the sink, a random ghost floating out of the sink and dissolving in the air as the bowl cracks. One of Zelda's dogs pads threw the room, followed by the other, Venom momentarily glancing at the spirit of the bowl before the two headed outside. Membrane notices the dogs as they head out. "I don't remember buying you or your brother another puppy..." he comments. Gaz stands up and starts to walk out of the room. "Not mine." she comments back after a minute. She picks her backpack off the floor, mumbling a goodbye to her father, then walking out to head to school for herself.

Dib had left home early that morning for school, not wanting to be late yet again. Over the years he had developed a habit of not making it to first period on time, usually winding up with him in detention with Ms. Bitters. On his walk to school, Zelda had walked with him only part of the way. She wasn't enrolled in Dib's school, so she instead parted ways for the time to take care of her own business. Reaching class, Dib took his usual seat next to the window of the otherwise depressing and spooky classroom, along with a few other random classmates including Iggins, Zita, Old Kid, The Letter M, Mary, and other familiars, Iggins only being among them since he joined the class a few years ago, similar to Gaz. The bell rang for class to begin within the first few minutes that Dib had sat in, a flood of students and a certain short irken in disguise hurrying in to avoid being considered late by their notoriously evil teacher. Among the last to filter in was Gaz, who threw her backpack onto the ground and took a seat, pulling out her game slave in one fluid motion. The second bell soon rings , proclaiming that class had started. Ms. Bitters appears from the shadows before the class, soon taking a seat at her own desk. "Take your seats class." she hisses, the class falling silent and numerous students dropping into their desks, one or two incidentally lands upside down, one knocking his desk over in the process. Bitters raised a brow slightly at the sloppiness of the classroom, then pulling a broken wedge of chalk out of her desk and standing once more, heading to the board to begin her lesson.

Meanwhile, Jadoku and Tsume duck behind the fence of Zim's base, their disguises as dogs disappearing into a flash of red light. A remaining lawn gnome turns to look at the two sir units, remaining still unsure of this situation. The remains of some of its companions still were littered on the ground, mostly on the sidewalk. Jadoku takes a quick look around the area, soon determining it to be safe. Tsume had become distracted looking at the blades of grass on the ground. "Pretty!" he chimes in a null witted manner. Jadoku glances at him, then picking his companion off the ground and throwing him into the purple men's door leading into Zim's house, soon walking in after him. Inside, Gir sits on the green sofa in the front room, sucking intently on a monkey cup, watching the scary monkey show. He quickly notices the other two SIR units, then waving ecstatically. "Hiiiiiiiii!" he calls out, hopping off the couch, some slurpy dripping out of his mouth. Sitting up off the ground, Tsume waves back, though winds up hit with the monkey cup. Jadoku looks dully at the two, grimacing. "Another one..." he growls, referring to the defective SIRs overall, that the Tallests had tried to pass out to defective Irkens, many of which unfortunately also coming under control of perfectly good invaders. "Want some?" Tsume chimes, picking the cup up and putting it to Jadoku's metallic face. Extracting information from this SIR unit or this base about their master may take a while longer than thought, Jadoku realizes.


	8. Tallest Report

The Irken Assassin Ch. 8 - Tallests report

With Dib and Zim distracted with school and Gir being dealt with by her SIR units, Zelda headed off to Zim's home to make private use of his base. Upon arrival to the base, the single remaining lawn gnome backed off to avoid being blown apart like its comrades, remembering the over tall human who destroyed the others. She walks inside, momentarily assaulted by the sound of an explosion, soon followed up by GIR and Tsume popping out of a now on fire kitchen sink in the next room. Zelda shakes her head in minor disgust, though mostly in confusion. "I don't even want to know." she muses, before looking down at Jadoku. "Master, all seems clear." he reports. Zelda nods coolly, then becoming engulfed in red light, her skin dying green and eyes shifting from indigo to gold, spikes appearing on her shoulders and antennae replacing her hair, nose and ears vanishing, fangs seeming to grow out along with claws, and a red irken insignia appearing on her lab coat, all in seconds, though one thing remains absent - a Pak. "Good... Now since I don't have any irken technology stored in Dib's house, I'm sure there's no problem in using our 'ally's' transmission room." she muses, speaking to Jadoku. Zerg looks down at her wrist, still wearing Dib's holographic mapping watch, activating the map. With a moment of visual browsing, she closes it, then teleporting into the transmissions room, judging the location's co-ordinates by the map.

Zerg soon reappears within Zim's lab, standing before a large computer screen scrolling with countless 1's and 0's as it continues to run a search on some unidentified thing. Finding the manual controls for the screen, she boredly cancels the search Zim had started, soon calling the Tallests, though first working a new icon into the computer's database. On screen a red irken symbol appears, two bent in extra marks appearing like the antennae on the top of the symbol forming under the symbol, bent inwards instead of outwards, three long slashes appearing threw the symbol after them. Zerg slashes a slight smile at this, the Tallests soon answering the call. On screen, the Tallests were eating from a box of doughnuts, a large cup of soda sitting on a nearby table. In their background a few workers on The Massive work diligently on their controls.

"Hello sirs, just reporting I've made it to Earth and have all ready begun to deal with the target." Zerg starts. "Huh, that was fast. Took Zim twice that time just to reach the planet..." Purple comments, taking a bite out of a doughnut he was holding in one hand. "You're not trying to kill him all ready are you? Remember, we need you to bring him back to Irk first." Red questions. Zerg shakes her head. "You ordered me to take it slow. Way I see it, I'm going at a crawl." she muses. "Though the way things look, I'll be transporting him back to Irk within the next one or two weeks, provided nothing goes wrong." Zerg summarizes. She only had to gain the short Irkens trust, and fool him into thinking he was going to be honored for his work on Earth. Of course, she'd have to simultaneously keep up her human charade and give the disillusion of Zim taking over the planet. Considering he seemed to have given up, she'd have to pull him back into wanting the planet in the first place. "What if something does go wrong?" Purple inquires, breaking Zerg out of her thoughts. Zerg looks back at the screen, gold eyes narrowed and antennae pulled back. "Depends, but at worst, I'll have to execute here or I'll be terminated myself. The risk of any slow mission." she growls. The Tallests risk a glance at each other. "So that's why they cost so much..." Purple whispers into Red's antennae. Red just nods. "Well, I doubt that'll happen. Anyway, call us again soon with your next progress report. We'll need a better idea of when you'll bring the defect back to Irk." Red orders. Zerg nods, then salutes, retracting her claws to avoid accidentally threatening her leaders. The call ends and her symbol appears over the screen once more, then disappears under thirty seconds later.

Zerg teleports back upstairs, dropping to one knee as a SIR goes flying over her head. "Tsume, calm yourself down!" Zerg snaps, half closing one eye as she looks over at the clawed SIR unit. "But I was going to get nachos!" Tsume whines. Zerg stands back up, shaking her head. "Hope Zim's SIR isn't corrupting you further." she muses, then plucking the little robot off the ground with her left hand. Gir walks into the room with a plate full of cheese and a few scattered nachos. "Aww, you is going?" Gir chimes. Zerg looks down at Gir, and then decides to play friendly to the child minded robot. "I'll let him come back and play later." she coos, mentally gagging at the scene. At least she was good with acting. Gir squeals with joy, then running off for some unknown reason. Jadoku and Tsume engulf their selves in a red light, returning to their dog forms, Zerg similarly becoming Zelda once more, heading out of the base and back to the Membrane household.


	9. Another?

The Irken Assassin Ch. 9 - Another?

Heading out of Zim's house, Zelda stops in her tracks as a voice is heard from below. Looking down, she sees a rather short irken, perhaps shorter than Zim, and by far fatter. "Hey! Who are you and what are you doing here?" he asks. He was in a disguise as another green human, only wearing a wig and contacts to hide his identity. He may have passed as a human if he fixed his skin color, or given himself a nose, but like Zim, he overlooked such simple details. Zelda gives him the same piercing look she gave Dib on their first meeting, as well as Zim, reading into his mind. "I'm here to help you and your 'master' Zim with your invasion, by request of the Tallests." she replies smoothly. Skoodge blinked, then seeming a lot less suspicious. "Well! If that's the case, glad yua made it ma'am!" he nearly cheers, bowing a bit to the much taller irken in his presence, hard as it is to tell. Zelda cringes a little at the ma'am statement, then shrugging it off. "Naturally", Zelda comments, then brushes past Skoodge. "Well, I must tend to something, so I'll see you and Zim later." she states, no longer looking at the ugly alien. "Wait!" Skoodge calls. "Who are you again?" he asks. "Name's Zerg." she states flatly, heading past the fence and out of earshot without waiting on Skoodge to digest the name.

At the end of the block, she shakes her head in disbelief. There were more Irkens on this planet than herself and Zim. The Tallests saw this planet as being at the edge of the universe, but that view could have been easily mistaken. This planet is accessible, and could potentially be used as a pivot point to another portion of the universe. She could use this later but for now, it could pose an issue. He serves Zim... He may wind up alerting Zim to her intentions if something goes wrong and he's listened to. Tsume and Jadoku had all ready ran off to return to the Membrane household.

Meanwhile at Skool, Gym had just begun. Coach Walrus had the class playing a rather blood thirsty game of Dodge ball. Naturally, the students chose who to have on their teams, slowly building their ideal team of people each side can vaguely tolerate. Zim had been among those chosen early on, for the sake of him being short thus hard to hit, and having previously show to be a good aim. Dib however wasn't as lucky, being the one each side argued to not have, simply out of spite. In the end the team opposing Zim's had been stuck with the paranormal investigator. Coach walrus blows into her whistle, starting the game. Gaz stands to one side of the playground, leaning against a wall and playing her Gameslave, only getting involved in the game if she really had to. Mainly this meant if anything got close to her, she'd take it and knock out the kid who threw it with the same ball. Several plays into the game, the heat of the sun had begun to take its toll on the students, causing one child to faint, and several to eventually wind up dragging their heels in fatigue. From the opposite side of the blacktop, Zim chuckles to himself. "Pathetic humans!" he muses, then blinking as a red sphere obscured his sight, just barely missing his wig. Annoyed, he faces Dib. "Well, about time I pay you back for sneaking into my house Dib-stink!" he growls, picking the ball up. "Bring it!" Dib challenges.

Somehow within those following ten minutes, the game of dodge ball had become a battleground, red balls flying like cannonballs, rebounding off brick walls and pavement, striking random students and sending them flying into iron fences and grass. Certainly there were a few who would end up in the nurses office soon, but among all students, the alien and his rival showed no intention of stopping any time soon. The bell ending the period rings, resulting in Dib's momentary distraction and a dodge ball to his giant head, and the smell of hot tar quickly approaching as he collapses. "VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" Zim shouts into the air. "ALL RIGHT! ALL STUDENTS BACK INDOORS. Slackers." Coach Walrus yells. She gets to work writing passes to the nurse as students limp into the school, some dragged in by the heels. Gaz kicks off the wall, not really looking where she went, though that never proved a problem. Dib slowly returns to a stand, wiping a bit of blood off his nose. "Guh... well that stunk." he comments, then glancing around the blacktop. He decides just to screw going back to a lecture with Ms. Bitters, and just heads the opposite way while Coach Walrus wasn't focused on him, hopping the fence and heading off school grounds.


	10. An Alien?

The Irken Assassin Ch. 10 - An Alien!?

Knowing by now his father wouldn't be home and his sister would stay in school, Dib just head back to his house after having hopped the fence. A semi-short walk soon found him at his door, in time for Zelda to be arriving as well. "Huh, done looking around already?" he asks, more happy about this than letting on. Zelda gives a quick nod. "At least for now." she responds, walking in after Dib unlocks the door to the house. Flicking on a light, Zelda walks strait into the kitchen, cutting through the front room. The kitchen was still a mess after Gaz had left, the splash of soda remaining on the kitchen table, dishes still in the sink, which was filled with soapy water, likely cold by now due to sitting too long by the open window. Dib soon follows into the room, getting himself a glass of water, thirsty after so long in the blazing sun. "Not really much to see around here is there?" Zelda asks, barely enthused. Until school let out, there wouldn't be any more attacks on Zim's base with Skoodge in there, and there wouldn't be enough of a challenge, or a reason. Soon locating a coffee maker, she started the machine, settling on that.

Having started the coffee maker and now just needing to wait a few minutes, Zelda leans back against the table, her hand accidentally landing in the spilled poop soda on the table. As quickly as her hand touched the substance left so carelessly on the table, she recoiled, coming to a stand and backing up against the refrigerator, hand searing in reaction to the earthly beverage. A small wisp of steam rises out of her right hand, red light following after as the white skin of her hand melted away into green, her claws seeming to materialize from nothing, green quickly hidden by the black of her glove. From her hand, the rest of her disguise started to rapidly deteriorate, her expression somewhere between stunned and pained. Watching his ally transform into a creature reminiscent to what he hates, Dib stepped back, a trace of anger in his eyes, consumed more by pure disbelief. "You... You're an alien!?" Dib questions immediatly. He wasn't sure what exactly to call her, thinking Irken, but a few traits claimed otherwise. "Just who are you anyway!?" He inquires, looking up at the Irken girl.

Cursing to herself, Zerg retracts her claws, balling her hand into a fist to endure the carbonated hydrogen induced pain which spread now into her arm. "You weren't supposed to find this out until after I was gone." she growls, looking at the big headed boy. Apparently getting over the shock of the moment, she stands up strait off the refrigerator, dropping her hand to her side. "I'm an ally... So, just calm down. Control Brains, is everyone hyper on this planet?" She calmly tells Dib, though apparently no longer believed. Sighing, she tries to explain. "Dib, I'm not here for your planet... Only to take Zim back to Irk for extermination." she explains, not needing to deal with her mission getting any more potential problems than this. Dib blinked, then dropping his guard. "Well, don't know what to say to that..." He comments, scratching the back of his head. "Don't worry about it."

"Though, you haven't told me who you really are still." Dib points out. At this point an hour or so had passed in just him trying to get the facts strait. It was almost as if he were talking to Zim, or something along those lines in vice versa. The coffee maker had overfilled at this point, unattended, and the two had moved to the front room. "The name's Zergarikiaka, a former scientist of Irk. Just call me Zerg, though." She self introduces. Dib gives a quick nod. "Well, guess if you're just here to get rid of Zim, I'll keep helping you out then. After all, the enemy of my enemy is my friend!" He comments, his attitude somewhat uplifted. "Though, why didn't you say anything before?" he asks. Zerg flashes a knowing smirk. "Would you have let me in originally, knowing I was Irken?" she rhetorically asks.


	11. Time Passes On

The Irken Assassin Ch. 11 - Time passes on

-- Data log --

Dib's discovered my true nature an earth week ago now. So far we haven't turned on each other, but keeping this a secret seemed to be tiresome on the human. His sister may suspect the truth, but it's difficult to tell. In this time, I've further surveyed this planet and studied its inhabitants while Dib remained away. From what I've learned of this world, I find myself concerned. This world seems to have a sort of intellectual cancer, slowly ebbing away the intelligence and capability of the humans surviving here. One could say this world has become host of defects. This membrane family however, seems to be three in ten million, the only non-defects left possibly. In a sense, this makes them the defects worthy of protection. Very unusual. This sparks my curiosity, so if I ever return to this planet after my mission is complete, I may do so to study this more closely.

-- End log --

"Computer, have you gotten any information YET?" Zim inquires, glaring at the computer screen of his base. "Search has been aborted. One file found." the computer informs, sounding only slightly surprised at Zim's ignorance of this. "Aborted? Well... Let's see that one file". The giant monitor pulls up a solitary document, a police record of sort. An image of a very normal looking irken appears on the screen beside the record as identification, the text mentioning something about illegal experimentation, but not much else which stood out.

Zim slams his fist into the metal dashboard of his control room's computer, frustrated at the lack of helpfulness presented. The idea that the search was aborted only added to that annoyance, since there could potentially have been more data than this. "Well, with this in mind I don't think our big ally is much a threat." Zim thinks aloud, then turning to the elevator to another section of his base. Skoodge remains in the room, looking at the single record still, apparently unnoticed by Zim all this time. Skoodge soon closes the page on the computer monitor himself, then heading back to the house part of the base.

Back in the house, Jadoku dramatically leaps in threw the open window, landing on his feet. Tsume crashed through a moment later, landing on his teammate as Skoodge arrived at the ground level of the base. Pushing Tsume off, Jadoku stands in salute to Skoodge. "Skoodge, we've come to check on Zim's status in planning out his method of conquering this planet." Jadoku reports, Tsume laughing behind him randomly, possibly only at Skoodge's shortness or a joke only held within his head. Skoodge takes no actual notice of Tsume. "Well, haven't seen what he's working on myself yet, but it's got to be good." He suggests. "Hey, when's your master coming here again?" he asks. Jadoku shrugs. "Possibly tonight or so." he estimates. "Alright."

The two SIR units leave the way they came, heading threw the window. Meanwhile Zim enters a room in the lower section of his lab, turning on a light and unveiling a large device, reminiscent of a quadruped megadoomer, having numerous missile launchers and laser cannons under construction on its centerpiece. Zim looks up at it with a critical eye. "Hmm... not good enough yet..." he judges, before picking up a wrench and approaching his device, ready to get to work on his machine, which could potentially work too well, or not at all. Time would only tell at this point.


	12. The Plan

The Irken Assassin Ch. 12 - The Plan

Sitting on Dib's bed, Zerg holds an irken styled holographic notebook, having a schematic of the Quad-Doomer and its ideal final design. Dib was sitting next to her, looking it over as she explained the plan to end Zim's time on earth, and the entire act needed in order to pull everything off. "The Quad-Doomer should be complete sometime tomorrow, judging on how fast Zim works on the thing. I'll take my own ship-" Zerg gets cut off. "From the Garage, and lead Zim to City Hall..." Dib adds. Zerg gives a quick nod, using a clawed finger to draw an accurate map on a new holographic page. "Which will be protected by a force field, cloaked and surrounded by a cardboard duplicate in its image. Should burn nicely and give the illusion of destroying the leading building. The Earth military will probably want to get involved, so we'll need to watch out for them. They'll probably not even make it on time, though. Naturally I'll have to imitate air support." Zerg then continued. Dib nods. "And if anything goes wrong..." He looks at the schematic again. "I'll use some of your Arrowheads to cut through its weak points in the legs to immobilize it..." he trails off."Then I'll drill threw the center piece to reach Zim, and exterminate him on sight." Zerg finishes, a trace of bravado in her voice. "However, it's not likely things will go wrong."

Zerg glances at the digital clock on Dib's computer screen, then perking up her antennas in surprise at the time. "I should get over to Zim's base." She exclaims, then smirking. "Have to make sure he's almost done with the Quad-doomer." she explains quickly, then placing the schematic down on the bed and standing up, arms crossed and retracing her claws, teleporting in the next second. About a minute later she appears in front of the nearly complete device, it towering high over her by about four stories, the legs bent like those of a giant lizard, balanced on square metal platforms. Zerg flashes a momentary smirk in approval, mentally pitying the fact that such a genius engineer could be so universally seen as defective beyond reconcile. In the otherwise silent room, a null thrumming could be heard from inside the quad-doomer's engine, accompanied by a shrill hiss of a welding tool. Zerg's eyes take on a fierce violet glow as she telepathically contacts her target. "Hey, Zim! Get down here!" she sends, soon rewarded by the quick tapping sound of metal on metal generated as Zim climbs down via spider legs, soon reaching the ground. The spider legs retract back into his pak. "Zerg, it's almost done. This planet's time of freedom and stink is nearly over!" he chuckles. "Just stay out of my way once it's finished and keep to your little air support." he warns. Zerg sighs mentally at how such a short irken possably could think he could threaten someone so much taller. Shrugging it off, she agrees.

"So tell me, exactly how much longer do you estimate this will take?" she asks. Zim looks up at his beautiful creation momentarily. "Give me about another hour and this INGENIOUS device will be complete." He responds, admiration for his own work clear in his voice. "Very good. We'll be ready to conquest this world tomorrow night." she decides. Zim glances at her suspiciously. "We?" he queries. "My sir's and I will need time to prepare my ship to fight off any military." Zerg comments off handedly. "You mean it isn't already?" Zim asks. "Not as much as one would like." she comments, glaring down at the short irken in a manner suggesting him not to question any further. She bows low, partially to look him eye to eye, and then smirks. "Besides, an attack by night is so much cooler than early morning, wouldn't you agree?" she challenges, before teleporting out of the lab, returning to the Membrane household.

"So, how's everything coming along?" Dib asks, getting smirked at. "Zim will be ready in an hour's time." she comments, then looking serious. "I'll need you to go to the City Hall now, my dear ally." she croons, mostly just to see the human's reaction. Dib scratches the back of his head. "Right now? Well, alright. Why so soon?" he asks. "Knowing Zim, he may attack sooner than intended. I need you to set up the cloaking and shields I've installed into City Hall and get the place evacuated, just in case." she dictates. "I see..."

Dib heads out of his house about fifteen minutes later, simply walking through the peaceful night to city hall, the anticipation of the following day weighing him down in the night air. There was a strange, ominous stillness in the air, as if the entire universe was standing in watch, waiting for the end. It was almost as if there was a solid tension all around the boy, as the future was looked upon in an uncertain view. Back inside his house, Zerg watches his leave threw the bedroom window. Once he was out of sight, she turns from the window, looking at the plans left on the bed. Her expression seems to rapidly darken, a look of violent focus appearing in her eyes. Her claws extend and flex in anticipation of the oncoming day.


	13. The Trap

The Irken Assassin Ch. 14 - The Trap

The day had begun to drag on, every hour feeling like an eternity. Every hour brought on deeper tension for all involved with approaching night. At city hall, Dib lets out a sigh of relief, as the trap was set. "Now it ends..." he comments, looking out a cut-out window of the cardboard exterior of the fake city hall as the sun began to set. Back at his own house, the garage door scrolls open, a low violet glow pulsating out from the spiked black voot runner housed within it. As its engines start up, golden flame spurts out of the runner, it thrusting out of the garage and immediately into the air with a low roar. The ship glides easily over the suburban buildings, soon slowing into a hover over Zim's base. The house had begun to rise off its foundation on thick metal tubes, giving room for the Quad-Doomer to step out.

From within her ship, Zerg takes a mental survey of the Quad-Doomer, then shaking her head in disbelief. Zim proved his engineering ability once again, making the robot's legs better armored than in her design. She types a command into her runner's dashboard, sending a message to Zim. "Nice work on the Quad-Doomer, Zim." she tells him, then breaking the communication to send another message to Dib. "We've got a problem. Zim bettered the machine, so if you need to take it down, every warhead will count." she warns him, then closing the transmission. The Quad-Doomer camouflages itself, as well as Zim's body, for the ride to the City. As it heads off, it leaves deep footprints in the asphalt as it stomps along, its weight the cause of damage to the ground. The black voot runner returns to a glide, following after the hidden machine like a stalker or lost puppy.

A half hour and three crushed buildings later, the Quad-Doomer arrives outside the City Hall building, Dib waiting outside, behind a street light to avoid being seen by Zim. A menacing laugh echoes seemingly from the air, until the behemoth of a robot unveiled itself, aiming a series of missiles and varied forms of explosives at the City Hall building. All at once, dozens of missiles and lasers burst from the core of the Quad-Doomer, seeming to strike the building at once, sending fire and explosive bursts out of the cardboard decoy and halfway down the city block. "VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" Zim shouts, then laughing hysterically. "Pathetic little humans, this is your end!" he called out. From above, Zerg watches the scene intently, her eyes heavily shadowed in focus.

So far everything seemed to be going as planned. Zim believed he destroyed the leader of the planet, and he had enough power at his disposal to do the same to the rest of the planet. Dib didn't need to take action just yet, and if the plan continued to go well, Zim would be being shipped back to Irk by midnight, under the illusion of victory. Only back on Irk, before the Tallests and the entire Irken Empire, would the Irken Assassin be set free to do her job, as described in the job description. There would be one less defect in the Irken Empire to deal with.

However, this moment of smoothness wouldn't last long enough. "Hmm? What's this..." Zim asks himself, noticing something weird about the way the building burned. It seemed like a sphere was set in the center of the flame, pushing the flame outward and away from the burning building. Suspicious, Zim has the Quad-Doomer leap forward, landing among the flames, and on top of the shield protecting the real building. "What is this!?" He demands to no-one in particular. The black voot runner banks out of the way as Zim suddenly figured out what was going on, seeing Dib finally to one side of the street from atop the city hall building. The building loses its camouflage, but not its shield, yet. "Now I see..." Zim growls, and then points one finger accusingly in Zerg's direction. "You're that Irken Assassin! You must have been hired to kill me!" he accuses, quite accurately.

Zerg grins in impression. "Well, you figured it out before getting off the planet... quite impressive." she comments, then looking down to Dib, sending him a transmission to his watch. "You know what to do." she tells him. "Right." Dib responds, then stepping into the open, pulling a few warheads from his pocket, throwing them at the Quad-Doomer, one of the bombs slicing threw and exploding one of the Quad-Doomer's jointed limbs, the other two thrown missing their mark or hitting the much stronger torso. Inside the Quad-Doomer, a warning screen popped up, pointing out the damage dealt. Growling in anger, Zim looks over at Dib. "I'll deal with you later human!" he snaps, then looking back up at the voot runner, targeting it with some of the machine's lazers. The front of the voot runner opens, a bar of energy sliding out and widening in the air until it becomes like a drill, a hole remaining in the tip of the drill, energy charging within it visible as a green glow. The Quad-Doomer releases its lasers again, just barely missing the voot runner as it dives under, the drill spinning as it releases its own laser from the drill, cutting along the second limb of the Quad-Doomer and into part of the torso. With a sudden roar of its turbines, the voot runner charges forward at Zim's machine, colliding head on with its torso, the drill cutting clean into the metal of the Quad Doomer, the metal-on-metal screech resulting from the attack enough to cause Dib to fall to his knees, holding his head in pain on the ground.

The drill once more became no more than a bar of energy, retracting back into the voot runner as its window slid open, Zerg jumping out of her ship, claws extended to their full length, shoulder spikes held high in aggression. Zim screams in surprise, then quickly ejecting from the ship, landing a moment later on the asphalt. "Hull damage acquired. Initiating Self Destruct Sequence." the automatronic voice of the Quad-Doomer reports, irken numbers flashing on the screen in countdown. Zerg teleports out in time for the Quad-Doomer to explode, sending chunks of metal and wire mixed with fire across the street. Zerg quickly looks back at Dib. "Get yourself somewhere safe!" She commands, then turning her focus to Zim, as he extended his pak's mechanical spider legs, now looming high above her, his expression holding a severe rage


	14. Like Mortal Kombat?

The Irken Assassin Ch. 15 - Like Mortal Kombat!?

Dib quickly runs into the nearest building after Zerg orders him to get away from the upcoming fight. Certainly there was a way to help even if he wasn't on the front lines, though. He starts heading up the empty staircase, aiming to get to the roof as soon as he could, knowing it may be on fire by the time he gets there if he takes too long. He notices threw a window the two irkens beginning to fight as the flame spreads around them. Deciding there wasn't much time to spare, he runs up the stairs.

Back outside, the flames from the explosions earlier had begun to spread, reaching some nearby buildings, and beginning to melt the tar on the street, the flame snaking over the road over a line of old gas which must have leaked out from a car during the day. The flames could be seen reflected in the eyes of the two Irkens, burning like pure hate in Zim's. Zim watched momentarily as Dib headed off, then being caught in surprise as a clawed hand slammed across the side of his face, eight inch long claws just barely missing out of impaling his head, only scratching the side of his face as he is sent to the ground.

His mechanical spider legs automatically retracted as he hit the hot road with a grunt, and is momentarily lost in a daze. He came back to full consciousness in time to see a spiked boot coming down upon him, quickly rolling to the side to avoid being stepped upon by the much taller irken. Zim once more outstretched his spider legs, remaining for the moment on his back as one slipped around Zerg's backside, smacking into her spine and catching between the spikes on her shoulders. Zerg stumbled forward as the metal limb struck her back. The upper spikes fold down on the lower, ensnaring the spider leg as it started to lift her off the ground, Zerg grabbing part of the metal limb within reach.

Zim sits up and starts to come to a stand, the three free spider legs positioning themselves to fire their laser. His hooked spider leg lifts upward, pulling the assassin off the ground as the remaining three aim directly at her, a flash of green light emitting from them as they fire three individual lasers. Zerg yanks up on Zim's spider leg suspending her, her claws tearing through the metal, her then falling back to the ground with part of the spider leg stuck to her back, three flashes of green flying overhead like lightning bolts.

Landing back on her feet, the spikes on Zerg's shoulders release the spider leg, it clanking to the ground. Zim growls in frustration, retracting the damaged leg into his Pak, and steps back into the very nearby flame of the smoldering decoy capital building. Zerg smirks, a shadow passing under her eyes as she follows the invader into the slowly dying flames. In the distance the sound of a fire truck or two approaching can be heard over the roar of the growing flames, the heat of the area seeming to spike. Over the roar of flames Zerg calls out to Zim. "It's nothing personal, I'm only doing my job." she states. Behind the burning cardboard, Zim notices the generator keeping the shield running. "Hmm." He stands on top of it, and shouts out over the roaring flame, "Well then get your job over with!" As Zerg relocated him, Zim jumped up off the generator as Zerg slashed her claws at him again, striking the generator instead of the short irken.

As Zerg pulls her hand free of the generator, violet sparks of electricity flails off the machine, following her claws into the air as if on a trail. The machine itself suddenly combusts, and the shield protecting the city hall building fails and fades out of existence. The cardboard around the building falls over as the shield vanishes, embers glinting in the night as they floated down onto the white painted office, wooden areas soon catching flame as well. While she was distracted with the generator, Zim slipped into the capital building, leaving the door open behind him. Two fire trucks soon arrive on the scene, a few firefighters pouring out of the trucks and readying their hoses. Zerg frowns a bit as she sees the humans getting ready to stop the scene, then follows Zim into the capital building.

Back to the nearby building, Dib finally reached the roof, only in time to see the firemen coming to save the capital building and those neighboring. A few hoses are turned on, sending a rush of high speed at the building even he was now on. Noticing the capital was no longer protected, Dib curses to himself. "This is getting bad..." he comments, repocketing the warheads he still had with him. Looking over the edge of the rooftop, Dib notices a pipe leading from the roof to the ground. Quickly jumping without a thought, Dib grabs the pipe and heads down, then sprinting to the building, his shoes leaving prints in the melting tar.

Zim finally stops running when he reaches the now abandoned governor's office, Zerg walking in after him a minute later, closing the door behind her. The window had been broken along with part of the wall when the Quad-Doomer self destructed. Chunks of burning cardboard had landed on the governors carpet, causing flame to spread even in this room, though it wasn't so bad as of yet. The lights were out, the electrical system damaged by metal and flame by now. The only illumination now was the burning flame, casting nightmarish shadows along the still untouched areas of the room. "Well, I'll admit you're a unique target Zim. Most would have given up by now or found their selves much worse off." Zerg mulls, flexing her clawed hand. Her golden eyes flare violet momentarily, her making a gesture as if she were pushing something aside, the furniture and random parchments scattered along the room immediately becoming thrust to the side of the room, cracking the wall with the force of impact. Her eyes return to their normal tone as she stops using her telekinesis, then charging at Zim, bladed hand pulled back in preparation for a fatal blow. Zim quickly rises up on his remaining mechanical spider legs, the damaged one serving for balance by pressing against a nearby wall. As Zerg comes close, he strikes the mechanical spider leg ahead of himself at the assassin in a last moment hope for survival, the assassin's claws nearly upon him.


	15. Life and Death Situation

The Irken Assassin Ch. 16 - Life and Death situation

Barely a moment to spare, Zim snapped forward his mechanical spider leg at the experienced assassin. Time seemed to stand still for but a moment until the sound of metal striking flesh than wood echoes through the burning room, the roar of the flames no longer audible. A stunned gasp escaped one of the combatants, as Zerg found herself stabbed threw both her hand and chest by the mechanical spider leg, the metal limb simultaneously pinning her to the wooden wall beside the door, a pulsating red orb - an energy core, visible between her body and the wall, slowly flickering out of life. A long smear of bluish green blood stains Zim's mechanical spider leg as Zerg sunk to her knees far as she could in shock, the life in her golden eyes rapidly fading as they close, her body falling virtually limp. Somewhere back on Irk, a surprised and rather disappointed control brain mutters "Deactivating". That moment Zerg looks up at Zim. "Well fought..." she grunts as the core behind her completely dies out. No time to recall those precious memories of life given yet.

The grotesque smell of burning carpet slowly cuts off the breathable air in the room, flames casting macabre shadows against the opposing walls. Deciding it was for the best to get out of here, Zim yanks his spider leg out of the wall and the dead assassin's chest, roughly flicking her off and against the corner of the room. He heads out of the burning room threw the hole left by the quad-doomer's debris, careful not to be seen by the police and firemen just outside as the buildings all around were drenched in water. As Zim makes his escape, the tongues of flame are reflected against the lenses of glasses in the doorway. "No..."

Dib quickly picks Zerg off the ground, along with the dead looking core and carries her off on his back, heading out the same way as Zim. He remembered irkens got ten minutes to live without their paks, and with all he learned from Zim and Skoodge in the last several years, maybe he could save her. He noticed she didn't actually have a pak, but this thing that just appeared may have been her alternate method of staying alive. Crude, but it worked this long.

Sprinting all out, Dib soon reached his house, faster than he imagined he could. He didn't even care as he ran past Gaz and his dad who were watching TV on the couch, soon running down the stairs to his father's lab. He places the irken on one of the tables, then quickly getting to work, only having about three minutes left before his ally would be gone for good. As he desperately strived to restore his apparent friend, time worked against him. He soon replaces the core into the wounded irken's body, not really noticing as his father looked down the stairs and into the lab to see what he was up to, laughably being proven wrong about the whole 'aliens don't exist' thing in a serious situation.

Before he knew it, ten minutes were up. Sighing, Dib mutters "It figures, finally have an ally and she dies..." to himself. Back on Irk, the same control brain in a somewhat happier, though more surprised tone states "Reactivating!" as the one he observes was miraculously restored. Dib sits on the floor, his head hanging, back to the table. A golden eye splits open and claws retract as Zerg slowly sits up on the table, looking around at the suddenly changed surroundings, then down to the human who somehow brought her back. Flashing a rare smile, she places a hand on his shoulder, resulting in Dib snapping back to his feet in surprise. "What?" he gasps in surprise, then smiling as he realized his work was not wasted. "Well, looks like you've earned yourself a victory Dib." Zerg comments, and slowly gets off the table and holding one arm over her chest. She didn't really understand it when Dib then threw his arms around her in a hug, but he saved her life so it was fine. "Thanks."

"Guess para-science is real science after all." Professor Membrane comments as he leaves the room.


End file.
